This is a good exercise.
For me, the child is a real thing, although not in the physical sense. I am beginning to feel what my inner-child feels. Although, it is still hard at this point to talk to her, or even console her. But, I do see growth in this area. I am not where I used to be!
On occasion I can remember or picture her inside me. Actually, see what she was doing back then. She had some really, really, really good times. Such a free spirit and fun kid! A prankster. Then she had some really, really, really bad times, which are hard to comprehend and the sting of pain and numbness shoots through her. Even now as she shares in this post.
“This is a chance to talk to the child within. If you’re capable of loving and comforting the child within, express the compassion that you feel toward her. You can do this by writing a letter directly to her. Or you can engage in a written dialogue, first writing as the adult and then as the child responding. You may find it helpful to place a childhood photo of yourself in front of you as you write.
If you don’t yet feel any connection, allegiance, or tenderness toward the child yet, start with how you honestly feel. You can’t write, “I love you, I’ll take care of you,” if that’s a lie. Start with: “I’m willing to sit down and write to you even though I’m not sure you exist” or “I don’t know how to love you.” Any point of contact is a start. You can’t have a loving relationship until you take the first step.
Another way to get in touch with your inner child is to write a dialogue using your dominant hand (your right hand if you’re right handed; your left if you’re left-handed) for your adult self and your other hand for the child’s responses. Writing with the non-dominant hand is slow and childlike and can help evoke the feelings and voice of the child.
With your dominant hand in your own adult voice, ask the child a question, such as “What do you need right now?” or “How can I take care of you?” Or “Can you tell me a little about yourself?” Then, switching your pen (or crayon or marker) to the other hand, respond in the voice of the child. When it feels like the child has had her say, switch back to the other hand and respond as your adult self. Go back and forth, changing hands, until you feel finished. This can be an effective way to open up a dialogue with your inner child.
If you feel totally alienated from the child within, imagine another child the age you were during your abuse. Try writing to her instead.
This is a good exercise to do more than once, particularly if you’re not starting from a place of compassion. Eventually you’ll be able to tell the child that she’s not to blame, that she’s innocent, and that you’ll protect her.” (The Courage to Heal)
If you plan on doing this exercise, use caution in trying to bring things to the surface especially if you are not ready yet. Maybe you need to be with someone when you decide to do this exercise, i.e. counselor, spouse, friend. For support. Just a thought.
